"She's an idiot. And she dresses like a ho-bag. I think she's from Canada, which explains a lot because the French don't care how they look on TV. You watch their news shows and their hair, it's like, 'Did you just put on that poly-blend pullover right before the camera came on?' She looks like a trapeze artist walking home from a one night stand through the bad part of Topeka, with that circus music still clanging in her head. She's like a French Vanna White."
It's the weekend. Jude and I usually spend an hour or two on Friday night or Saturday morning rationalizing the doing of no work on the house and, instead, the going to downtown. Often, the best we can come up with is, "Well, we're gonna need some breakfast." We head through the pantry, full of Grape Nuts and pancake mix, out the back door to the car and downtown to Mother's.
Mother's has the best breakfast I've ever experienced anywhere. As a fan of truck stops, diners, B&Bs, omelet shops, sidewalk crepe stands, and even some microwave gas station cuisine, I'm easy to please -- but the field is that much wider in the competition for absolute best. Mother's wins. They're always busy, with sort of a French countryside decor, but in an early 20th century ironfront structure. They may not know your name when you walk through the door, but when you put it on the list (somehow it's always about a 20 minute wait, no matter how many people are there) all of the staff make an effort to call you by name. It's pleasant, like when they call you darlin' at a truck stop. Go ahead and use an alias if you want, Brad and Angelina. And the food is just unbelievable. We try to order something different each time, but my favorite is the bagels with lox. Sounds common enough, but the bagels are FedEx'd daily from Greenwich Village and the lox are fresh, wild, Alaskan salmon. Cup of coffee and a mimosa. Catch me, Jesus.
We took Mason and Maddy to see Happy Feet back in December. The other day we were watching them for Lacey and found that Mason is doing his part to save the penguin habitat. He's growing his own glacier for his pet penguin, Pengo (Lego®-Penguin). First he froze some water (that's the recipe for ice) in a plastic mug. Then, when he judged the conditions were right, he introduced Pengo into the artificial environment. See the fishsticks on the shelf below? Mason has one fish stick he keeps in the freezer door, and every day he breaks a little off to feed Pengo.
Maddy is focussing her conservation efforts on walking around with ice stuck to her face. "Rook!" she says.
It's been a busy week; ineptitude and psychopathology have been crowding my attention, causing me to neglect my distractions. Alas, to describe them further could threaten my funding sources.
Michael Chertoff, as (relatively new character) Black Mask
