Is the Meadow on Fire?

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I personally believe, Charlie, that U.S. Americans are able to preemptively, uh, some people out there in our nation don't hunt moose and, uh, I believe that our, uh, energy like such as in, uh, Russia and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that we should, uh, 20% of our energy over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should be able to attack Russia and should attack Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future. For our children. Charlie.

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Knock Knock

Who's there?

Nine-Eleven

Nine-Eleven who?

You said you'd never forget!

All Your Bad Debt Are Belong To Us

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The headlines say the US government "seized" Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and, if you bother to read the story, you find that We The People have adopted another budget catastrophe whose cost is on par with the US government's seizure of Iraq. It's quite a Fannie we've seized. But the government didn't actually seize the two companies; they're publicly-traded in good times, but only government-seized in bad. As soon as they're profitable again the shareholders will regain control. Maybe Fannie and Freddie will buy a big Thank You ad for the back of next year's Form 1040 Instruction booklet. This temporary seizure relationship is politely called a "conservatorship." It's fear-based socialism, like when your parents pay for your rehab and cover your bills and mow your lawn while you're in recovery because they're afraid you'll stab them in their sleep if they let you move back home.

But, since that story is all about big numbers that nobody can even imagine, let's talk about little missing Caylee's awful mother instead. I heard that she relied on her parents to watch little Caylee while she'd be out drinking and fucking. Can you believe the nerve? Really, I blame the parents.

Goodnight, Gracie!

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Well that didn't take long. The Republican ticket of Burns and Allen is already in hot water.

Turns out Alaska Governor Palin is under investigation for abuse of power. Oh, and don't worry: it's unseemly!

The story goes, she fired Alaska's Public Safety Commissioner because he refused to fire a State Trooper she wanted axed. What's that? You want to know why she wanted the State Trooper axed? Well, because he was in a bitter child custody battle at the time with the Governor's sister, Molly. Family's gotta come first!

She could even face impeachment over the matter. Who's doing the vetting over there at the McCain campaign?

Oh well, if he has to drop Palin from the ticket he can still go with Harriet Myers.


GEORGE:
Well, well, Gracie, that's pretty shocking! In light of this potential scandal, do you think McCain will keep Palin?

GRACIE:
Why George, if McCain keeps palin' he's likely to disappear altogether!
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UPDATE 2 SEPTEMBER, 2008

Roister doister, it's been a busy weekend for Governor Palin! I can't keep up, but here's a Digg.com screenshot:

Vulgar Exclamation!

I'm clicking around during the Convention (nice job, drummer for Will.I.Am and John Legend!) and I see this tag:

McCain's Prickly TIME Interview

It was a weird interview on McCain's (wife's) plane where he behaved really strangely. Couple highlights:

[Your] campaign today is more disciplined, more traditional, more aggressive. From your point of view, why the change?
I will do as much as we possibly can do to provide as much access to the press as possible.

But beyond the press, sir, just in terms of ...
I think we're running a fine campaign, and this is where we are.

Do you miss the old way of doing it?
I don't know what you're talking about.

Really? Come on, Senator.
I'll provide as much access as possible ...

In 2000, after the primaries, you went back to South Carolina to talk about what you felt was a mistake you had made on the Confederate flag. Is there anything so far about this campaign that you wish you could take back or you might revisit when it's over?
[Does not answer.]

Do I know you? [Says with a laugh.]
[Long pause.] I'm very happy with the way our campaign has been conducted, and I am very pleased and humbled to have the nomination of the Republican Party.

You do acknowledge there was a change in the campaign, in the way you had run the campaign?
[Shakes his head.]

You don't acknowledge that? O.K., when your aides came to you and you decided, having been attacked by Barack Obama, to run some of those ads, was there a debate?
The campaign responded as planned.

So OK. Then I find this article from the BBC:

PUTIN BLAMES U.S. FOR GEORGIA ROLE

This is alarming. Take your time -- go read the article. McCain's top, A-number-one foreign policy advisor -- a guy named Randall Scheunemann -- is a paid lobbyist to McCain on behalf of the country of Georgia. You already know that, right? Today, though, check this: Putin is saying that the U.S. worked with Georgia to provoke the Russians into a conflict in order to impact the U.S. election. He's saying the U.S. trained Georgian troops, both in Georgia and in Iraq, then flew the Iraq-based Georgian troops on U.S. planes back to Georgia during the Russian invasion, and provided U.S. boots on the ground to actually participate in the combat. This is a very grave charge and it's got a real ring of truth to it.

Remember during the height of the Russo-Georgian conflict, the Georgian president was calling on John McCain to "move from words to deeds"? I remember wondering why he was calling out McCain instead of Bush. Did he really expect a candidate for president to be able to send troops and, even if he could, why would he want to go to war with Russia just for Georgia? But now I think McCain's man Scheunemann must have promised Georgia that McCain would fly in and make a big deal out of it if/when Russia responded to Georgia's provocation, and Georgia would get South Ossetia back in the process. Georgia would also have an indebted friend in the White House if McCain won the presidency.

Did you read the article? You didn't? OK, at least read this quote from Putin:

"We have serious reasons to believe that American citizens were right at the heart of the military action," Putin said.

If it is true, then

1. the Republicans, including both McCain and the Bush administration, actually started a war between two sovereign countries solely to manipulate the American electorate. Does it get any more cynical?
2. yes, it could get more cynical. Because Putin's Russia responded so much more strongly than Georgia (and, allegedly, the U.S. Republicans) expected, Georgia got crushed and McCain didn't have a chance to step in and show American voters his strong yet diplomatic side. Therefore
3. my grave concern is that those same Rovian Republicans will try again -- this time with something more manageable, like a terrorist attack within the U.S..
   
4. if there is an attack in the U.S., it's easy to imagine the Bush administration taking some pretty drastic measures in response to the catastrophic emergency.
   

Convention Just Got Better Than The Olympics

I know Bill Clinton reads a lot, but I had no idea he reads my blog. His speech last night did many of the things that Hillary's failed to do. In particular, he referred to Barack Obama the man, not Obama the agenda.

Just an aside: I noticed during Bill's speech that Hillary, Michelle, Jill Biden and even Mama Biden all wore blue dresses last night. And I thought, "Well that's a strong show of support for Bill." It reminded me of my brother's post the other day about how Jackie Robinson's teammates all wore his number as a show of solidarity. Blue dresses for Bill. Funny.






Anyway, he gave a great speech and he wore a very expensive tie that wasn't orange. So. I don't know. I just couldn't help thinking as I listened that Bill's main objective was just to give a better speech than Hillary. But I can't really prove that. Favorite line:

"People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power."

Now, Beau Biden? That was a heartfelt introduction of his Dad. I was crying (I love you, Dad!). Just watch it, that's all.



Joe Biden also did a great job. At one point, though, he told about how his mother made him go back outside and at least bloody the nose of a bully who'd attacked him so he'd be able to walk down the street after that. Great American stuff! Except, I thought, that's probably the same thing the Iraqi insurgents tell one another while they're placing their IEDs along the road, and we're the bully. Anyway, he sold it.


Also, since the Fourth Amendment and Habeus Corpus still haven't been seen or heard from at the Democratic National Convinfomercial, I'll go ahead and mention them here:

Fourth Amendment to the US Constitution
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Writ of Habeus Corpus
(Latin: [We command] that you have the body) is the name of a legal action, or writ, through which a person can seek relief from unlawful detention of himself or another person. The writ of habeus corpus has historically --since the 12th century-- been an important instrument for the safeguarding of individual freedom against arbitrary state action. Also known as "The Great Writ," it's a summons with the force of a court order addressed to the custodian (such as a prison official) demanding that a prisoner be brought before the court, together with proof of the custodian's authority, so the court can decide whether the prisoner is being legally held or, if not, that the person should be released.




Now, the FIRST Amendment has been seen, but it was bleeding in a gutter trying to wash the pepper spray from its eyes. Here's that old favorite amendment for anybody who'd like to sing along:


First Amendment to the US Constitution
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or of the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.




And for dessert, why not? My personal favorite:




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More Substance Abuse

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Oh, Fox. Someday your overt propaganda will all be subtle, and we'll so miss these screen shots. This is the kind of thing that explains why somebody stuck a dollar bill in a Faux News vj's bra during a live segment from the DNC. Enjoy:
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