At Safeway this morning I'm confronted with this little gem: if my cashier fails to ask me for a donation to Easter Seals -- a handout -- then I win **free water**. As if being asked to give money is a customer service. "Don't worry, folks! Our team of checkers will definitely put you in an uncomfortable position during your visit. We guarantee* it."
*Guarantee backed by the planet's most plentiful resource.
So I put my iPod earbuds in as I go through the line and I avoid any eye contact with my cashier. I have my music up so loud that others can hear it bzipping out of the little earbuds. I try to look angry. Sure enough, my cashier fails to ask me for a donation. I pull out the earbuds and I say, "You didn't ask me to donate! I get free water!" She gives me the look I deserve, I suppose, and she hands me a warm bottle of water.
She says, "Would you like to donate to Easter Seals?"
"No," I answer, opening my water bottle.
4 comments:
Oh you! The humor. So wacky!
If Jeremiah doesn't stop turning on the water in the shower and then wandering off to do something else, water isn't going to be the planet's most bountiful resource for long.
Are you sure the cashier didn't say "Would you like to donate to Easter Seals, asshole?"
I also have to add that I hope that there's a special place in hell for these at-the-register donation scams...somewhere very close to the special place in hell for the excessive abundance of tip cups.
And speaking of tips; next time you go to this store, bring a nice fresh *free* bottle of water to offer to the check-out clerk NOT to ask you for a donation.
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